Happy 2018! How crazy that another year has passed in a snap and the lessons I learned in 2017 were plentiful! It’s come and gone so quickly. The most special year of my life because our beautiful daughter came into this world. The year I constantly thought about, imagined, poured over, worried about and dreamed of has now ended. Looking back, as we should do every year, I’ve seen a growth within myself, my family and my energy. So, I wanted to share with you the lessons I learned in 2017. Don’t forget to share the beautiful things you’ve learned down below in the comments or over here on the ‘Gram!
Letting go of things out of my control.
I’ve never thought of myself as a control freak. It’s funny and hard to explain all at the same time – I don’t mind organized chaos and I love being spontaneous. But when it comes to some of the fundamentals in life, I like to have full control over what happens, a grip on my thoughts and mind. In experiencing pregnancy, childbirth and caring for a tiny human being (and everything that comes along with these things), I’ve had my share of uncertainties, insecurities and worries that I still deal with in the present. But, I’ve been able to accept that a lot of these insecurities and uncertainties are all in my head. Instead of rushing things, trying to manipulate the outcomes to the best of my ability, I’ve let go a lot and trust that, with my instinct and patience, time will simply lock everything into its rightful place. Some of the hardest habits to get back into have been the relaxation and rest-related ones. Not stressing out if Zoe doesn’t wake me up during the night, for example (of course I still go and check she’s breathing lol #parentlife), not correcting my hubby when he’s doing things a different way or put on those PJs which are actually meant for 12 months instead of 9 months. Learning to sit down and turn my attention to a conversation at a dinner gathering, have a drink & some cheese and crackers without being up and about in the controlling expectation Zoe will need me (then I look over and she’s content in someone’s arms). Everything is a process and I’ve quickly realised there is a lot that you have to just let go of in order to co-exist happily in a family and that letting go of control also gives you back an important part of yourself.
Saying no and speaking my mind.
I’m proud of myself that I have been able to keep with my plan of learning to say No. After all, it was one of my 2016/17 New Years Resolutions. Like most, I don’t like confrontation much (especially if I have to start it!) and I’m usually that sweet person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and second, maybe third, chances. I talk about the importance of learning to say No in my post about work-life balance and even now, this is something I still struggle with. Since Zoe was born, I’ve had my wholehearted dedication placed in raising, caring and soaking her infancy up in this first year. Something about that, whether it’s the sheer lack of time or structure, has really done wonders for increasing my ability to not overthink about my reactions. Where previously I would have chewed over and over on what to say and how to say things, I simply come right out and say them. Honestly, it’s refreshing! That doesn’t mean I’m rude and offensive or that I don’t feel crappy about certain situations. After all, honesty is really hard, especially when there’s history and emotion involved – recently I had to definitively cut ties with an old friend who has very negative and draining energy, despite the fact that I know what great times we had and the person she is capable of being, she has a good heart etc. – so it’s tough. But, it’s a skill I have learned to master even more through 2017 and will probably work on all my life.
Women really are kick-ass natural multi-taskers.
Of course, we already knew this. But nothing like taking that multi-tasking game to a limit with family, work, friends, travel and a child (let’s talk again when we have the second shall we!?). All I’m saying is kudos, ladies. We hold down that fort and get that shiz d-o-n-e. Oh, and we can do it in heels and lipstick.
How thankful I really am for my hubby.
Ooh, girl. I’m not gonna lie – it’s a roller-coaster sometimes when it comes to balancing baby and boo (boo = husband, not boob, although I get how you could totally get the lines crossed). There are times that you’re in a perfect synergy and partnership with your other half and other moments where you are literally the front cover of the book and he’s the back. Just ride it out, though, it’s all perfectly natural in any relationship even without kids. In 2017 I really learned that I can depend on my hubby for anything, he’s supportive and does the best he can with what how he sees the world. Every day I am thankful I have kids with this man and that every single day I continue to choose him and he continues to choose me to be at each other’s side.
I wish everyone a year filled with happiness, love, peace, family and success! I hope you learned some important lessons last year and let’s kick ass in 2018!